Lamentable Joy

The day did not start right, at least I thought so initially. My alarm clock inconceivably did not ring so I woke up UNBELIEVABLY late, it rained just as I was stepping out of the gate, it took me ages to get into a cab whose driver did not look at me with a weird expression on his face and tell me he needed a bath first that's why he could not take me to the Chinese Embassy in Makati (I know, right). I declared myself hungry (having skipped breakfast) almost simultaneously as I realized the cab I got into has a flag-down more than twice the regular rate. When I got to the 2nd floor of The World Center, I found out that I had to wait for 93 more people to be served before I.

It was up to my emotionally battered heart to convince myself that there's light at the end of the tunnel. I kept telling myself that I wouldn't have to wait forever, that before I knew it, it  would be my turn. I wouldn't have to wait until the afternoon to be accommodated.

As much as it felt anxious to be less than an hour away from finding out if my Visa has been approved, part of me was numb. Maybe having to go to the Chinese Embassy thrice drained me of my energy and the emotional roller coaster ride I have gone through for the past months was taking its toll. I was hopeful, but not expectant. I wanted to be positive, but I prepared myself (emotionally and psychologically) for the worst.

Then it happened. I got my Visa. It was approved. Now I am days away from China.

I couldn't begin to tell you how I felt when I was handed my passport with my Visa stamped on it. I wanted to scream and cry of happiness. I wanted to jump and laugh hard. After EVERYTHING, I finally made it.

But for some reason,  I felt that something is missing. I could not even have a small celebratory dinner with my mom or aunt, or a plate of pizza with my sisters. A trip to PT with my girlfriends would be impossible, given the circumstances. I wanted to be home. I wanted to share the good news with anyone who has been with me all throughout the obstacle courses I have gone through. This might not be a big deal to some, but for me it is. For once, one thing that I hoped for came true.

I am happy, of course. It's just that it makes a difference when you're able to share it with someone.