I Want To Be

It was a sunny July afternoon, and I was lying on my stomach (more like sprawled on my laptop) staring out at the window of our rented, humble abode in Bacolod. It was my rest day from work and for some unknown reason I was...well, restless.  I smiled at the irony and a fleeting thought crossed my mind. Have I ever made someone smile at the thought of me, during one of these idle, quiet afternoons?

Probably that was the the time I started writing "I Want To Be". Ironically, the poem is self-explanatory even to someone who is not that into poetry, yet it took me so much time to finish. I did a stanza every other day, made some revisions, rewrote many lines, and manically rearranged couplets. I religiously checked for grammatical errors, thought of more appropriate words to replace those that did not sit well with the poet in me, and it's been  a struggle to rid the poem of 'obvious' rhymes. I worked from work, contemplating of lines to add to the poem in the middle of talking to my customers. This poem, in its way, drove me crazy! You'd think I'd enter a contest! lol

The thing is, I wanted the poem to be flawless, because it would be a gift to someone very special, dedicated to someone I have not met yet:  my future husband. When you have my heart split open and take a peek inside, this poem would be written all over it. I simply meant every breath of word in this poem. I poured so much, everything into this and I'd honestly cry a river if he wouldn't appreciate this someday.My friends who saw this found it beautiful (recently posted on Facebook), and I pray he'd feel the same way. So here goes:

I Want To Be

Your very first thought in the morning

that paints the blue in your sky
The smile that lingers in your lips
as quiet, idle afternoons pass by

The face that crosses your mind
in random places, at the oddest times
The dream that makes you sigh in your sleep
as it keeps you awake each night

The lover whose kisses you'd choose over wine
whose eyes speak of desire reflecting yours
The lightest touch that can set you on fire
able to content you, and drive you for more

The one to fill your life with laughter
and calm your heart during a storm
The quiet strength that makes you weak
yet the gentleness that keeps you strong

The fantasy you have been holding secret...
and the reality you have been wishing for

All I want to be
is your everything.

xoxo