How I wish I had a pre-recorded answer to the following questions, which invariably go, as ordered: a) Are you single? b) Why are you still single? c) When was your last relationship? d) Oh, really, how come you never had a boyfriend? and e)What kind of guy are you looking for?
Seriously, if the number of times I answered them were any indication, a pre-recorded response to each would have saved me a lot of time and energy. Not that my Love Life would really trigger a lot of interest; after all, I am nobody popular. These questions just made it on my FAQ List. So let me set things straight.
I am 22, and yes, at the time of writing I am single, free as a bird, unattached, not committed to anyone. In short, my life is free from endless text messages, phone calls, IM's from a guy I'd cheesily call mine. Ha!
And why is that? My answer is pretty simple: I have yet to meet someone I feel connected to in all aspects (physically, spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually) and who would feel the same way about me. I can't even begin to tell you how that guy's like the proverbial needle in the haystack!
It's a long shot to fall in love just once, and give your heart just once (like my dream), because love is like having your heart out in the open and making yourself vulnerable to the person that you love. All I'm saying is that when I love, in my heart, in my mind and in my soul, I want it to last forever...and work on it with the person who is worth all the pain and sacrifice that might come with loving. Enough said.
If only answering "N/A" to the third question and having people get the idea, were that easy. This is the part where I tell them of my affiliation to the No Boyfriend Since Birth Society. Disbelief is usually the reaction I get (and am used to), if not shock. Many people tend to sound like singlehood translated to being a pariah and it prompts them to set you up with someone's brother, cousin, colleague, etc. but for me, it's a phase that I want to enjoy and make the most out of.
Unless it's with the guy I am really into (and everything is right with us), I don't see the need to have a boyfriend just for the sake of having one. I am very much influenced by Joshua Harris' I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Lisa Velthouse's Saving My First Kiss and Leslie and Eric Ludy's When God Writes Your Love Story. These are Christian books and when you've read them, you get the gist of what I mean, and no further explanation is necessary.
Mainly I am guided by Joshua' principle: The joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment. I want romance! Who doesn't? But I want it in the context of a functional relationship founded on something solid. If I doubt I'm mature and responsible enough so I can give the relationship the time and commitment it needs to grow, I better not get into it in the first place. Otherwise I'd just waste my time and emotions.
If I get into a relationship, marriage should be its destination. I'm not saying I'd get married right away, but it has to be a long-term relationship that's eventually leading to marriage because I don't see the point of it all if not. I am thinking of a relationship with a purpose, one guided by values and sound Christian principles. (I know, doesn't sound like the old me.)
Song of Songs says, do not awaken love until it so desires. Plus, I certainly don't want to rush into the whole thing without making sure I am with the person who shares my commitment and justifies my beliefs. It would be a lie to say I do not desire intimacy from the opposite sex like anyone else but since my heart breaks too fast and mends too slowly, I have to be careful whom I give it to. In this case you have to be picky; you just can't have anyone else.
So what if I am 22 and still single? Joshua says singlehood is a blessing and an opportunity to mirror God's love through rendering service to others, and I agree with him. For me, this is also a time to grow and prepare, be the best that I can be and learn to be happy even on my own. I'd rather be single than in an immature relationship that would break my heart.
At this point though I want to become the girl that my kind of guy would like to have, and be proud to call his.The list goes on forever if I tell you about what I am looking for in my future mate, and an easy answer would say as long as he loves me, everything would just fall into place.
But the girl in me envisions a guy a head taller than I am, who is fit enough to give me piggy rides on his back and wouldn't faint easily from long walks on the beach and an afternoon of strolling in the park. I don't need him to look like Prince Charming (since I'm no Disney princess either haha!), as long as he takes care of himself and wears perfume that doesn't smell like freshener thus making my sensitive nose itch.
He is soundly educated and with good moral fiber. He fears God as I do, and shares my values as he justifies my principles in life. He treats everyone with respect, and my family is just charmed with him.
He could talk about literature among many things, and appreciate poetry. This matters to me because I wrote so many poems for him! He laughs easily, kisses and hugs a lot, philosophizes (but not to the point of making me snap), discusses world issues, helps the less fortunate in little ways. He is someone I can talk senseless with, share funny anecdotes with and be a little girl with.
He reads me like a book and accepts me for what I am. He helps me become a better person without trying to change me to fit into his standards. He doesn't mind if I eat too much and too often and if I am always late on appointments and sometimes I get to be a magnet for disasters because of my clumsiness. He lets me swoon at poems and cry at soap operas and shriek to my heart's content at horror movies. He is full of surprises, as he is patient with me during my monthly period, mood swings and episodes (I have many, but don't let that scare you haha!). He is someone I can punch playfully, 'wrestle' (he's letting me win, of course!) and listen to oldies songs with.
He sees my worth as a person, and just loves me more than I can put in words. He is overwhelmingly many things but to sum it up... with him, the world is just more beautiful, and everyday is something I'd look forward to because it means another day with him.
Okay, maybe this is too much. I don't want to sound too emo, and demanding, like I am looking for Mr. Perfect because he doesn't exist. It's more of meeting someone, loving that person, and making him The One. I'm realistic that he doesn't perfectly match my requirements, but he's at least close, because I ain't lowering my standards, thank you very much.
I can't wait to meet him, and I think that when people do,without my fictitious pre-recorded answers they'd realize why all along, I waited.
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